I'm a little late on this but.... MY SPRING BREAK WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOURS. I went to gulf shores with my sweet friends, and had a relazing week on a beach full of senior citizens and ZERO crazy college kids. Yes, I'm probably a senior citizen myself, but lets be real... I am NOT about college kids getting drunk on a beach half naked. So my week was perfect for this 20 yr old going on 60...
Being on the beach is just what I needed. I don't think I realized it at the time, but looking back I definitely understand what the Lord taught me that week. I have this thing where I never feel worthy of anything. That I am inadequate 110% of the time. The enemy knows this and is CONSTANTLY whispering lies in my ear. Its a daily struggle, honestly. I had just recieved some news the thursday before we left for spring break, that put on my shoulders a lot of responsability. I was excited, but in the back of my mind was the constant thought of I can't do this. I'm not wise enough. I don't do enough. I'm not good enough. LIES.
If you want to feel insignificant..... go to the beach.
If you want to feel significant....... go to the beach.
sitting on the shore reading psalm 139 just about rocked my world to pieces. Yes, its one of the most cliche scriptures in the bible because I feel like I'm constantly having it shoved down my throat.. BUT its truth. Its beautiful truth. Sitting there looking at the ocean, I couldnt help but feel so small. The same creator who made the ocean and put each grain of sand where it is now, put me here on the earth. Who am I that I think I can be of any use to my savior? But who am I to doubt what my savior can do through me? I sat there thinking about how I felt inadequate for the position handed to me, how I never felt good enough...
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
I am adequate for the King and I am good enough for the King.
JOKES:
-Almost hitting a poodle today coming home from school. That dog looked like it had never seen the outside of a backyard, and was going to run as far as his little legs could take him...
-The airport losing my luggage. Story of my life. Traveling is never a walk in the park for me. Don't worry, I took a 2 hr nap in the target parking lot while they searched for it.
-Wedding showers. Loved seeing my old Young Life leaders this past weekend, but I don't have a baby and I am not married so conversations were funny when you're just a sophomore in college.
-Easter candy. Okay. I hate the fact that we make a big holiday for treats and eggs out of Easter. This sounds terrible, but I will probably not make easter baskets for my children. We will celebrate the sweet and beautiful resurrection of Christ, but I'm not going to buy 50 bags of candy to do so. Bah Humbug.
-the tornados hitting my hometown yesterday. I hate the cons of spring. Leave my friends & family alone!!
JOYS:
-My family being safe and sound from said tornados.
-finally being confident rocking the middle part for my hair. Yeah, this constitutes as a joy for me.
-shopping with my momma this past weekend. It's not just shopping. It's bonding. It's a time for her to just be with me and talk about whats been going on with the fam. tears may or may not have been shed in the forever 21. sue me.
-getting to go home AGAIN this coming weekend. but not home.. san antonio. my favorite. seriously.
-picnic time with alyssa last week. sweet time in the sun with a sweet friendship.
PEACE N BLESSINS YALL
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