for the children

This post is for the voiceless. The children that have to be quiet. The children that fear of the unknown. The children that no longer have their innocence. The children that have lost hope. The children that hide their past.

This is also for those who go about their days, and think they know the people they surround their selves with. Because, most chances are, you don't know anything.

I haven't really talked to anyone about the Penn St scandal because truthfully, there isn't enough time in the day for me to tell you how disgusted I am by it. Its ironic.. Because you would think I would be the most angered by the man commiting the acts. Nope. I am more disgusted and literally nasueated by the men who sat by and said nothing for 30 years.

I hope anyone who reads this and watches this will take something from it. Maybe you know someone who's been hurt this way. Maybe you've been hurt this way. And if you have, you know that the broken pieces of your heart are never fully healed.

But I am here with good news.. The Lord declares, "I am the one who helps you!" He wants to heal you, no matter the struggle or the past. There will also come a day where there will be justice. The good Lord will give justice to the ones who never got it, and that, that is what helps me sleep at night.

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring the good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted..." isaiah 61:1 How sweet that the Lord grants me a place in his work to "bind up the broken-hearted" when I myself am broken. There is grace in the broken helping the broken. And there is also redeemption.

I would just like to say thank you God, for a son. Thank you for sending someone to redeem me. Thank you for the broken-hearted, and for grace. Thank you for the stories you have written each of us. Thank you. THANK YOU.

Merry Christmas, yall.
Love the ones your with this christmas. Hug everyone a little tighter than usual, and don't forget to remember the "broken-hearted."

awkward, awful, & awesome

3 words to describe the last week plus of my life..

awkward:

Trips to A&M. Dinner. Asparagus. Football games. Midnight yell. Love? What? Family time. Thanksgiving. New houses. Friends. Boys. Heytell. Black friday.

awful:

Spoiled brat. Mom crying. Secret twitter pages. People you love, making bad choices. So much school work. Losing to LSU. Being ranked number 8 (SERIOUSLY?!). Fake friends. #88. Westboro baptist church. Getting sick from so much stress. Craving the Lord, but also craving sleep. Using time as an excuse. Physically exhausted. Mentally exhausted. Spritiually dry.

awesome:

Rest. Food. Lots of food. The Lord using the awkward moments. The Lord laughing at his funny and awkward creation. Football. Possibly going to the cotton bowl. Worship. Spending quality time with my sister. Getting lost in the country with my sister. My sister. The cold. Semester almost over. Lauren Locklear. Kaitlyn Cross. My grandma. Bridesmaids (the movie). Seeing friends after a long time away. Justin Bieber christmas CD. My daddy. My bed.


Well, there it is. I'm definitely a "list" type of person so this was fun. Some of them are vague, but thats just the emo-blogger in me. Dont mind me.... My life is pretty much over for the next 2 and a half weeks. So. Much. School. Work.

So with that being said, I have a request... Do you mind praying for me? I hate asking for prayer, which is probably really stupid, but in essence, I hate asking for help... And thats just something I need to work on, BUT if you wouldnt mind saying a little prayer for me if you happen to think about it, that would seriously mean the world to me. On December 7th I have 3 tests and a project due... Yeah, I need prayer. And grace. And mercy. I just need jesus in every way I can get him in the next 2 and a half weeks.

Yall are the best, and mean so much to me. If you need prayer seriously text me. I would love to pray for you in any way I can. Well, its about that time I go to bed stress free for the last time for the next few weeks. Love yall. Praying for yall...whoever "yall" might be... who cares! I'm praying for you anyway!

PEACE&BLESSINS.

Birthday girl

So I've gone a little blog crazy with all these blog posts! Don't get too excited... This blog is strictly a picture blog..

So this past weekend, I went to Jasper, Arkansas for polar bear weekend! wahoooo! It was so much fun! and freezing... Of course the timing was perfect because there is seriously nothing better than fall in arkansas. The trees were beautiful, and the scenery was to die for. I would even go as far to say the view was as good as the grand canyon...... yeah.... that good. I loved getting to talk about jesus with sweet girls, and then sag my pants in front of 130 high schoolers... haha. Only if it means furthering the kingdom! My weekend was way better than yours. Sorry. At polar bear, I was spending some time with jesus and I became so overwhelmed with how much I love my life. I love the lifestyle I've been blessed with. I mean, what normal college kid is going to want to spend their weekend with high schoolers, not showering, sleeping on the ground, freezing to death, and sleeping little to none!?! The answer: a young life leader. I seriously just thanked the Lord all weekend for having this life. I dont deserve it. I never will. But if i can be of any service to my king, then praise the Lord! He is too sweet to me.

Hey... so.....your girl got second place! I am not bragging whatsoever, but I was so excited about this! I got second place out of everyone in my major, in this sewing/design competition at school! I was not expecting it at all! Lookout world! I may be designing some of your clothes someday!..............naww!!

My birthday is pretty soon.... and by soon, I mean friday! I'll be 20! CRAZZZY! No more reckless teenage years! This is one of my favorite pictures in the whole wide world. I love my daddy so much. My mom and sister are coming this weekend to visit, but my dad has to stay behind and work! He's the best man I know, besides my grandpa. Last sunday, the preacher at the church I go to, talked a lot about how men seek affirmation. He made really good points about it, and it made me really thankful for the hard working man in my life. He's so sweet to me, and he's hilarious too. I don't know how I'm ever going to get married because god bless the man who has the courage to ask my daddy for my hand in marriage! He'll probably be packing a gun when the time comes....haha. I wouldnt want it any other way!

So there you have it! My life as of.... this week! haha. Forgive me for being the lame girl who takes pictures of herself in her room.... sue me! I'm so thankful for everything in my life right now. Perfect for the time of year, considering its almost thanksgiving! I'm too blessed, and I'm so unworthy.

Peace and Blessings yalllllll!

sweetness

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley


Thought this was a sweet quote about how life should be lived.


It's way past my bedtime, and midterm week, so no blogging for me! Hope my fellow blog followers are having a blessed week! I hope the Lord is revealing himself to you. :)

PEACE&BLESSINGS.
-Lauren

ps: My birthday is exactly one month away... 11-11-11. LUCKIEST BIRTHDAY EVER.

Isaiah 40:31

I am not even going to take the time to apologize for not blogging within the last month.. College girl... Football fanatic.. Young Life leader.. you do the math!

So here I am. Not studying for my quiz in my sewing class tomorrow. Watching Taken on tv. Blogging my heart out.

 Well, lets not waste anytime shall we? The last 2 weeks or so, I have been a little.... weary. I'm getting impatient with the Lord and I'm trying to muster every ounce of righteous discipline to stop myself. But I'm struggling. I'm a selfish human being, lets just be bluntly honest. And being the selfish himan being that I am, I think I deserve things in return for pursuing the Lord.... like for instance: a boyfriend, or girls to show jesus to. But I'm tired of complaining about where I am right now. So I am going to take the time to share with you some people I am so dearly thankful for, for being there for me through it all!

After one of my best friends had a great day, I want to say how thankful I am for Lauren Locklear. I'm so happy I got to witness her have such a sweet day. After watching her have such a great game today, and her entire team shower her with hugs, I am so thankful to say I know her more than the "celebrity athlete." I know she is a beautiful woman of the Lord, who is not only a soccer player, but also a Young Life leader. She graciously sacrifices the free time she has left to spend it serving high schoolers! I love her so much, and I absolutely can not thank the Lord enough for letting me spend my college years serving high schoolers with her! She is beautiful inside and out, and boys.... start your engines, cause she's single! ;)

Of course we all know how thankful I am for Kaitlyn Cross! She goes to hockey games with me, when unknowingly, we LOVE hockey. She goes to BYX functions with me, when we literally have dates from the devil himself. She understands why I struggle with being impatient, cause she shares the same struggle. We laugh until we cry and can't breathe over the stupidest things.... "GO, GO, GO!"... "When is it going to be my turn!?!?!!?" No one, and I mean NO ONE, understands us. We have the worst luck, seriously. But I count it all as a blessing. Our lives seriously wouldnt be as entertaining if it werent for our awful circumstances. We joke about how we should have our own reality show... but seriously. Someone call MTV or something. We watch friends until our eyes cant stay open anymore.... ROSS AND RACHEL FOREVER! We've recently found a new hobby....going to barnes and nobel to read bridal magazines! I'm sure that's probably on some level of unhealthy........Nevertheless, I am so thankful for Kaitlyn Cross!

Victoria Prince. You've been there from the beginning and you arent going anywhere... And I love you for that. Despite living in completely different states, and carrying on our lives 5 hours from each other, you are still evident in my life just as much as you were when I was 5 mins down the road. I enjoy the random phone calls just to tell me something awkward just happened. I love the text messages that even though you think you're annoying me, or think you're being a girl/dumb/dramatic.. because you arent! and even if you were, I would still read them and still reply the same! You do the same for me and I love you forever. You're the only one I've managed to keep up with from home and I wouldnt have it any other way. FOREVER AND ALWAYS!

and here's to all the people that mean a lot to me, but I am too tired to write a novel about you. Just know that I have a special place in my heart for yall. If you're reading this, I probably have a strong love for you! Thank you for being in my life, and thank you for being there when I'm weary.

peace, love, and Arkansas

Hello friends! Sorry for the long absence, girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

School started! Summer is over. Bummer. But on a brighter side, I LOVE my new major. Absolutely LOVE it. It's apparel studies in case you've forgotten! I got my first project thursday and guess what that entails?! Researching trends amongst the fashion world, and use pictures from fashion websites............Yeah, I know. I'M IN LOVE. haha

Thursday was also the first Young Life get together of the year! The oh-so-loved ice cream social! Now, if I can just explain to you how much Fayetteville needs guy leaders....... After the end of this year, the team I am currently on will be guy-less. Strong guy leaders is all I've been praying for this summer. (Not ALL I've been praying for, but you get it). And leaders in general are just needed so much for other teams as well. So, my roommate/best friend/Kaitlyn Cross and I pull up to this ice cream social on thursday evening, late as usual. I almost burst into tears at the amount of people eating ice cream on Robin's front lawn. Last year we maybe had 35 people.. This year, we had 65! Um.... if you aren't so talented in the math area, thats about DOUBLE!

The Lord answers prayers, my friends. If you are faithful, he will answer the call. We met so many people that loved Young Life and wanted to help any way they could.. And I'm sure you're wondering: There were multiple guys interested in becoming leaders!! I couldn't even begin to explain the overwhelming peace I felt just upon arriving to the ice cream social. I've been so worried for so long about the future, and who is gonna help lead.... The Lord seriously slapped me in the face this week with peace and joy.

I've loved every minute of my classes this week, another something I've been worried about. I have a feeling my major is right where I am supposed to be... And then the ice cream social. So much peace. The Lord is in control of the future. Not me. Although I'd like to think I'm the one in control, let's be real here.

Well there you have it! My first week of Sophomore year of college, and the Lord has already been evident. I have a strange feeling about this year..... and I'm excited.

"I pray that each one of you looks back on this year, after everything is said and done, and you can say, 'I gave it my all. And the Lord used all of it.'"

"Oh Lucy, I'm hommmmmeeeeee!"

So.... I'm back. I couldn't stay away for long. Don't get me wrong tumblr is great, love it! But.. It's really shallow and surface level. I don't feel like it's really a blog.. More like a place for people to post pictures, which I can do on here and still be real with y'all.

I remembered about a girl who messeged me while on summer staff. She was a camper while I was on work crew and got to hear my testimony. Well she decided to message me and say hello. After a year this girl still remembered me. Who am I that i deserved to be remembered?! The lord is too sweet to me. She encouraged me so much, and literally brought tears to my eyes. I would just like to make a shoutout: Murphy, you are such a sweet girl, and just from Facebook I can tell you have a heart for the Lord! You are so loved. And appreciated. I pray for you a lot, and I hope your life is being blessed tremendously by the Lord! Keep lovin Jesus, sweet thing!


So I'm back. And I'm ready to be a real blogger again.

I'm currently in the Tulsa airport typing this via my iPhone so I'll make this pretty short.. I can't wait to finally blog about my summer, summer staff, forgiveness, and family. Just bare with me!

Sweet followers, you are loved.
Peace and blessings.

Ragamuffin

His name was Rick. There I was sitting on an airplane, the last flight of the day before I would finally reach my destination: Orlando, FL. We were coming from Nashville and had a 2 hour flight ahead of us. Of course, the flight was full so I was forced to sit in a middle seat. Aka: the most uncomfortable seat ever. Lest I forget I am not supposed to be comfortable... I picked a seat between to normal looking men. One of them was an employee, the other--come to find out--a musician. Anyway, the entire flight consisted of the usually. Headphones in, book out. But not just any book, The Ragamuffin Gospel. It has taken me an exceedingly amount of time to read this book because it is so full. So full of information and spiritual slaps in the face, if you know what I mean. I read my book most of the flight. The guys next to me did the same. At one point, I took out my headphones to order my drink. The musician talked to me about how his daughter still parties in Florida and she's 24. Being the tired and lazy human being that I am, I hurried to end the convo and go back to my book. Typical tunnel vision.

It was about time to start our descent to Orlando and I got tired of reading and was forced to put up my headphones. I hadnt even had my headphones out for 2 minutes, when the other guy next to me opened up our beautiful conversation with, "I was looking at your book, and I noticed it was about God and Grace.." And so our 25min conversation that I will never forget, began.

He told me about a book he was reading about an atheist who decided one day there isnt a way in hell that this world, our intricate bodies, nature, color, everything--just sprouted up out of the blue. There had to have been someone creating it. We talked about how we don't understand how people still dont believe and they live in the same world we do. There is no way you can look at the stars, the sunset, or a heart and deny our God.

He shared with me a little of his testimony.. He said about 28 years ago, he was in a dark hotel room with a girl he didnt know, beer and drugs surrounding him. He said he could have sworn it was God himself asking him what he was doing with his life. He said he got up from the bed, and never looked back. He started going to AA and turned his life around. He told me other funny and "ironic" coincidences in AA that makes him laugh now looking back.. He said now he realizes it was just a matter of time before he was in AA, and God made it clear. He's been sober ever since. But life hasnt been easy. He told me of his brothers death about 2 years ago, and how his nephew commited suicide not even a year ago. His wife's brother was just put in jail for being a pedophile, which turned his wife into an alcoholic. He said it's only by the grace of God that Rick and his wife are still sane. He told me its so beautiful to watch how the horrible, disgusting things in our life or our past is turned into the good. Only by the grace of God.

I told him a little about myself and how The Ragamuffin Gospel has really made me in awe of the mercy and grace of God. I've always understood it, but this book was really putting it into perspective. I let him read a little of it, and he would giggle a few times.. He told me is funny how a 19 year is reading a book about things he didnt even learn about till he was in his thirties. I told him I take absolutely no credit for that! Like we said before, only by the grace of God.

I told him about Young Life, and he said he applauded me. He said he had never heard of it, but just from what I told him, he said he loved it.

We exchanged names, and he told me, "I will be praying for you Lauren. Everyday. What you're doing is something extraordinary. You deserve all the help you can get."

I deserve nothing. After reading this book, I'm a little more broken for Christ. (If not completely broken). Before, I hated being broken. I hated how I didnt have it put together.Theres this girl I know who always says, "I wish I had your perfect life." "You have it all." SHUT UP. The only reason I have anything, is all because the Lord has given it to me. And perfect?? If you know me, at all, you would know I'm far from it. But now... I've found the beauty of being broken. "To be alive is to be broken. And to be broken is to stand in need of grace."- Brennan Manning.

So there you have it. Probably one of the best plane rides of my life. Can you imagine how awesome that plane ride would have been if I wouldnt have stayed in my comfort zone until the last 25 minutes of the flight? I began to think about what if the world ended tomorrow.. and before I know it there I am standing in front of my Savior. Recalling all the times I was in my comfort zone when I shouldnt have been. Yeah... scary, right? If you dont feel a sense of urgency after thinking about that, then I don't think you fully accept the gift we are given.

I recommend The Ragamuffin Gospel... It may change your life. Or you could be open to letting others change your life.

His name was Rick, and I think he changed my life.

I love my life

Young Allie: Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me. I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late.

Young Noah: I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you every day for a year.

Young Allie: You wrote me?

Young Noah: Yes. It wasn't over. It still isn't over. [kisses Allie]

hammocks. 1am. chocolate milk (or hot chocolate). Mcalisters. Lauren Locklear. Kaitlyn Cross. Caylan Fidler. Lauren Swood. headless horsemen. chickfila milkshakes. headwraps. chacos. tanks. jesus. fellowship. twitter. joey. voicemails. dead day. cinco de mayo. moving out. finals. testimonies. 3 sets of ten. market place. amazing grace. sprite with cherry.

my weekend in a nut shell. and its only friday..

Battlefield

well hello there beautiful blog readers!

Long time no blog! Great news! I had my Young Life leader interview to be a leader tonight! It went well, or atleast I think it went well... Can't wait to see where God decides to place me on Sunday!

So life has been crazy the past month. I've literally been busy everyday and weekend. I cant even tell you the last time I was actually in Fay for an entire weekend. Oh! I declared a major on Monday! Apparel Studies with a minor in business (to make my daddy happy). So far its the only major I've been reallllly excited about. Someone told me the other day after I told them I declared a major, "Oh, well no one stays with their first major..." ..........Should I break it to them that Apparel Studies is my second-ish major?

Well, my life has also been crazy for the sole fact that I feel like spiritual warfare is very evident right now. The past month it has been brought up a lot, and I dont feel like that is a coincidence. I've been dealing with a lot of doubt about what God has planned for me, and if its what I should be doing, and YES. I am doing what the Lord wants me to do, and this is why the enemy is whispering doubts into my gullible mind. Why would I ever think for a second that Young Life is not what I should be doing? Because there is an enemy out there that wants to bring me down. An enemy that will go to all lengths to stop me from glorifying my Savior. Well, enemy, my Savior has told me to GO to all nations. Make disciples of ALL nations. GO. He has commanded me to GO. So this is me going.

I chose to write a research paper over Noah and the ark, and I needed academic sources to back up my paper, naturally. Well, I spent 7 hours at the library seriously researching articles and books for good commentary...and... nothing. I found one article, and two books. I ended up doing the sources wrong and didnt get credit for an in class assignment... I then proceeded to spend another 3 hrs last night finishing up my research. I even emailed my teacher for help... Nothing. I spent another 7 hrs today writing my paper and explaining how Noah was the perfect example of a faithful servant. Now in case you missed the underlying message, writing this paper was not easy. And not academically challenging, but overly challenging for any kind of paper. But this wasnt any paper. This paper glorified Christ and I took a stand for him in my paper. Someone out there (the devil) did not like this. He proceeded to make it exceedingly difficult for me to accomplish this. Dont worry, this made me even more driven to finish this paper. In the end, I'll probably get an F on it for reasons I wont understand, but I DONT care. Because I've already won (or passed). There is victory in Christ. And that just drives me more.

So bring it on, enemy. Bring on the doubts, and the challenges. Because in the end, my Jesus wins. Which means I win. I am so ready to fight the good fight with everything in me, with Jesus in front of me. Wherever he leads, that is where I will be; in the middle of the battlefield. To the ends of the earth.

"If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him." John 12:26

(I fully expect to have a flat tire on my way home from this coffee shop, and I also expect my printer to crash when I need to print out my paper for tomorrow)
(CAN I JUST ALSO SAY THAT I HAD THIS TYPED OUT, AND WENT TO POST IT, AND IT DISAPPEARED. so I typed it again. faithfully.)

2 Samuel 13

I think we should all take a minute and close our eyes, and picture ourselves on a beach somewhere... With snowpocalypse number two on the way, it only seems fitting to imagine ourselves in a warmer climate. I dont think I can say I enjoyed walking to class this morning in 19 degree weather, with a windchill of negative something. Winter is bitter. And I am bitter it's winter.

Speaking of being anywhere but here, the new drew holcomb and the neighbors cd came out today!!! GO BUY IT NOW ON ITUNES. Dont you worry, I already have my favorite. "Anywhere but Here." Perfect for the current circumstances.

Today, I really contemplated the idea of God placing certain people in our lives for specific reasons. I feel like no one is in our life by accident. There are no accidents with God. Even the everyday people we encounter.. God planned you to cross paths at some point. Every person was put in your life by the Creator of the universe. Recently, I have been thinking about the certain people in my life, and where God is going with this/them. After young life last night, it really made me ponder the relationships I have with people. For instance, my best friend, I truly believe the only reason we are best friends and have been so special to each other for so long, is because we help each other grow. We are constantly pushing each other to be better for the Lord. I want all of my relationships to be like that! If anything I want to be introducing them to the Lord altogether! It's kind of interesting to sit and think of all the relationships you have with people, whether it be boyfriends or just friends, and wonder why god has placed them there. in your life. at that specific moment.



Just recently, God has revealed himself to me about a certain relationship I have here at college. I was brought to tears at how evident it is that, the only reason we are friends, is because we have SO much in common. But mainly, we have the Lord. I am not going to go into detail, but just believe me when I say the Lord is majestic. He works in beautiful, mysterious ways, but all for his glory. And He truly does put people in our lives for a reason. And I am so blessed to be embarking my college career with such a Godly and sweet girl. We are going to be pushing each other to be better for the Lord. And I cant wait.

Now I can,
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

hello blog world!

I am finally conforming to the hype that is "blogging." The only reason I decided to even do this is because of a blog I recently stumbled upon: kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com. It will change your life. And blogging is a good way for whoever cares to keep up with my life and what God is doing in it. The past few days I've been confined to my 8x8 dorm room,(thank you snow days), and have had nothing better to do than browse/creep the internet. I honestly dont expect or believe anyone to read any of this. I just think sometimes its refreshing to get your thoughts out, even if no one else is seeing them. Oh, and please dont judge me! haha I promise I'm not as lame as I probably am making myself out to be!

So I am currently watching the Greenbay Packers celebrate their superbowl win, while listening to "Forever Reign" by Shane and Shane. The past few days I've really been struggling with the idea of how America, and Americans have their priorities all wrong. Especially after reading katie's blog. I feel we've truly lost what matters in this world. Whether you are a follower of Christ or not, things have got to change. My roommate,(holla ellie webb!!), just read me a statistic about the cost of a 30 second commercial during the superbowl, being the equivialent of the cost it takes to save 167,222 families in Africa from malaria.

Its rather disgusting how much we can help, and we choose not to. And by 'we' I mean myself as well.

The Lord has called us to love. Not ourselves, but one another. So lets do it! Lets love! I hope anyone that is reading this will go about their day tomorrow with love. Love from Jesus. The only love there is. Whether that means smiling at someone you see during your day, or by holding the door open for someone. LOVE.

I'll close with a quote from Katie's blog.. I wish I had the heart of some of the children she describes.

"it is pouring. it is freezing. the power has been off for days and the water lines are down. yet i stand in the middle of 25 children praising and thanking the Lord. our usual outside worship has been taken indoors due to the storm, so instead of praying together, the children are praying in their individual rooms. i am in the primary boys room which is home to our boys ages 6-10. i have never seen anyone so alive with love for their Maker. some stand with their hands in the air. others, like me, so overwhelmed with awe, have fallen to their knees on the cold, cement floor. the beautiful sound of 26 voices lifted in prayer drowns out the beating of the rain on the tin roof. God is so in this moment, i feel so full of His love, that my heart threatens to burst. this is not something i can explain to you. this is not something words can ever capture. this feeling is bigger. the splendor of God in this room takes my breath away. we all pray out loud and our voices mix into one, all different word, but the same message: thank you. THANK YOU."

Sleep pretty, bloggers!